Near Death, Jeremy Renner Didn't Want to Come Back: My Next Breath: A Memoir

Summary of My Next Breath: A Memoir by Jeremy Renner

My Next Breath: A Memoir is a gripping, emotionally raw, and inspiring debut memoir by two-time Academy Award-nominated actor Jeremy Renner. The book centers on his near-fatal accident on January 1, 2023, when he was crushed by a 14,000-pound Pistenbully snowplow (often referred to as a snowcat) at his home near Mount Rose Highway in Reno, Nevada. Beyond recounting the traumatic event, the memoir explores Renner’s grueling physical and psychological recovery, his reflections on life, death, and resilience, and the profound lessons he learned about inner strength, endurance, hope, and the human spirit’s capacity to overcome unimaginable adversity. Written with visceral detail and narrated by Renner himself in the audiobook version, the book serves as both a personal catharsis and a universal call to action, forging a deep connection with readers through its honesty and vulnerability.

The Accident

The memoir opens with a harrowing account of the New Year’s Day 2023 accident that nearly claimed Renner’s life. While attempting to save his 27-year-old nephew, Alex, from being hit by the runaway snowplow, Renner was pulled under its tracks and crushed. The accident resulted in catastrophic injuries: over 38 broken bones (including six ribs broken in 14 places), a collapsed lung, blunt chest trauma, a fractured jaw, and severe head injuries that caused his left eye to be displaced, allowing him to see it with his right eye. He lost several liters of blood, and his heart rate dropped to a critical 18 beats per minute, a level at which, as Renner notes, “you’re basically dead.” For over 30 minutes, he lay on the freezing ice, fighting to stay conscious and keep breathing, aided by neighbors Barb and Rich, who urged him to stay alert. Barb later recounted that Renner’s skin turned a grey-green color, and she believed he died for a few seconds before paramedics arrived. Renner himself is convinced he briefly died, describing a mystical experience of “electric, two-way vision” and a “constantly connected, beautiful, and fantastic energy” with no sense of time or space, which profoundly shaped his perspective on life and death.

The Recovery Journey

After being airlifted to Renown Regional Medical Center and later transferred to Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, Renner underwent multiple surgeries, received two blood transfusions, and spent 12 days in the ICU. His injuries were so severe that paramedics initially doubted he would survive. The memoir details the excruciating pain he endured—likened to “being struck by lightning, drowning, and on fire all at once”—and the months of painful rehabilitation that followed. Renner admits to being a “terrible patient,” pushing himself relentlessly, which he credits for his astonishingly rapid recovery. By January 13, 2023, he was discharged from the hospital and has not spent a night in one since. His recovery involved innovative treatments like hyperbaric oxygen therapy, which he continued for 20 months, and a fierce determination to reclaim his life. Despite permanent physical changes—half his face and much of his back are now metal, and his teeth remain misaligned—Renner views his recovery as a lifelong journey that has made him healthier and more purposeful.

Emotional and Psychological Reflections

My Next Breath is not just a physical recounting but a deeply introspective exploration of the psychological and emotional toll of surviving such trauma. Renner reflects on the fear, guilt, and helplessness felt by his family, particularly his daughter, Ava, who was 9 at the time. Ava’s essay, included in the audiobook and read by her, describes her pride in seeing her father drive to pick her up post-accident, highlighting her role as his “fuel” for recovery. Renner gave Ava tasks to make her feel empowered, such as being his “arms and legs,” reinforcing their bond. He also shares how his mother, Valerie, read Stephen King’s Fairy Tale to him in the hospital to comfort him, and how his nephew Alex, who witnessed the accident, has grappled with its trauma. Renner’s writing captures the interplay between vulnerability and strength, despair and hope, and redemption and renewal, emphasizing that his survival was driven by love for his family and community.

Life Lessons and Philosophical Insights

The memoir transcends the accident to offer a “toolkit for life after trauma,” as Renner describes it. He shares profound insights gained from his brush with death, including a simplified approach to life that prioritizes love, family, and meaningful purpose over “white noise.” He writes, “Dying is easy. It’s living that’s hard,” and emphasizes that his experience taught him that “love lasts” and “wins” beyond the physical realm. Renner’s mystical experience of death—described as an exhilarating yet tranquil connection to universal energy—convinced him that death is nothing to fear, which has given him a fearless approach to living. He now focuses his energy on what truly matters: his daughter, his Rennervations Foundation (which supports foster children and underprivileged youth), and projects that inspire and empower others. The book is a testament to the human spirit’s resilience, urging readers to find joy, peace, and purpose even after unimaginable hardship.

Narrative Style and Audiobook Experience

Renner’s prose is raw, honest, and conversational, reflecting his personality with a mix of street language, humor, and emotional depth. While some readers found the “masculine, bootstraps-tough” tone less relatable, others praised its authenticity and accessibility, describing it as “easy to follow” and “fun” despite the heavy subject matter. The audiobook, narrated by Renner, is particularly immersive, enhanced by his audible emotion, occasional pauses, and the inclusion of actual 911 call audio from the accident, which adds a chilling realism. The audiobook also features Ava’s essay and perspectives from family and friends, enriching the narrative. Reviewers note that Renner’s voice conveys the full range of his experience, from pain to triumph, making the audiobook a standout medium for this story.

Broader Context and Impact

Renner’s memoir also touches on his life before the accident, briefly recounting his career as a dynamic actor known for roles in The Hurt Locker (earning a Best Actor Oscar nomination), The Town (Best Supporting Actor nomination), American Hustle, The Bourne Legacy, and as Hawkeye in seven Marvel films. His philanthropy through the Rennervations Foundation, which repurposes vehicles for community needs and supports foster children, underscores his commitment to giving back, a theme amplified in the book. The memoir has been praised as a “powerful reflection on resilience” and a “deeply personal exploration of hope,” resonating with readers for its universal themes of survival and transformation. It became an instant New York Times bestseller, reflecting its widespread appeal. Renner’s promotional tour, including events in New York and Pittsburgh, and appearances on CBS Mornings and The Tonight Show, further amplified its impact.

Conclusion

My Next Breath: A Memoir is a visceral, transformative account of Jeremy Renner’s survival and recovery from a near-fatal snowplow accident, blending graphic details with profound reflections on life, death, and resilience. Through his raw narrative, Renner offers readers a “cheat code” for navigating trauma, emphasizing love, purpose, and the power of the human spirit. The memoir is both a personal catharsis for Renner and a universal inspiration, making it a compelling read for anyone facing calamity or seeking to understand the depths of human endurance

More on Renner’s Near-Death Experience

Jeremy Renner reveals why he had no desire to return after briefly "dying" in a snowplow accident. In a candid confession, Jeremy Renner recounts his brush with death, his cosmic connection, and why oxygen feels overrated. Jeremy Renner insists he wouldn’t alter the severe injuries he endured in the snowplow incident. During his momentary "death," he felt an overwhelming bond with love and universal energy. He came back with a deep appreciation for life’s beauty, despite his initial reluctance. “Everything has a crack; that’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen might have penned those words for the battered, broken, and reborn Jeremy Renner, who found himself cherishing the perspective from the other side after a 14,000-pound snowplow challenged his bones in a brutal waltz. This is no Marvel special effects spectacle—it’s real. On New Year’s Day 2023, Renner became a human speed bump, suffering 38 broken bones and an unsolicited life review that could rival Dickens’ ghostly tales. Yet, despite the heart-wrenching ordeal, he says he wouldn’t rewind time. Why? Because what he glimpsed beyond life was “gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous,” and he believes “love is the DNA of our spirit.” In this emotionally raw confession, Renner lays bare his near-death experience and encounters with cosmic unity. So, grab a tissue, a thesaurus, and pick your jaw up off the floor. Renner means it when he says he didn’t want to come back. Per Jeremy Renner, he died during the 2023 snowplow accident and had zero intention of returning.

On January 1, 2023, 47-year-old Jeremy Renner faced a 14,000-pound snowplow during a snowstorm. His mission? Shielding his nephew, Alexander Fries, from becoming a winter tragedy. Truly heroic.

His body endured catastrophic damage—over 30 fractured bones, 14 shattered ribs, massive blood loss, and other grave injuries. Yet, amidst the physical wreckage, the spiritual journey took the hardest hit. On the High Performance Podcast, the host posed the inevitable: “You died, right, Jeremy?” With the calm of a Zen monk sipping espresso, Renner replied, “Yes... To me, it’s like you find comfort when you slip behind the curtain, and I didn’t want to leave.” Just a casual nod to the fact that the actor briefly died and seemingly got a VIP pass to the cosmos—no pomp, no orchestra. On New Year’s Day, while protecting his nephew, he was crushed by a 14,000-pound snowplow. Credit: High Performance podcast; Jeremy Renner YouTube. When asked why he didn’t want to “return,” Renner delivered one of the most poetic, raw, and mind-bending answers you’ll hear. No angels, no harps, no long-lost pets in the traditional sense. Instead, he felt everything. “You don’t really see much. That’s a human thing, you know? It’s like seeing is closer to knowing in your mind’s eye, imagining what you ‘see’ when you pass isn’t through your eyes. You’re not breathing. Time, space, place—they’re gone.” Most of us would be thrilled to leave surgery without a hospital-gown-induced identity crisis. But Renner emerged from clinical limbo with a monologue on the symphonic majesty of love and universal energy. Rather than just brushing the void, he wrote it a love letter. Jeremy Renner describes the afterlife as “pure, electric love.” Beyond his physical agony, Renner says his soul took a detour past this world. Jeremy Renner insists the beyond isn’t a pearly-gated city but a full-throttle emotional eruption. He called love “the DNA of our spirit,” stating that “everyone and everything is there” in that realm. He continued: “Everyone is magical. It’s the most electrifying part. It’s this beautiful, blazing thing. My God, it’s breathtaking.” Yes, he used “magic” to describe the afterlife—not in a Disney sparkle sense, but in a soul-igniting, heart-searing way. After fracturing over 30 bones in the snowplow accident, Jeremy Renner can hardly believe he’s still here. After shattering over 30 bones in the snowplow incident, Jeremy Renner finds it surreal that he’s alive. His raw honesty commands respect. No sugarcoating. No media-polished platitudes. Just the unfiltered, radiant truth: he didn’t want to return, not because life here is bleak, but because what he experienced was likely brighter, easier, better. He describes surrender, a release mistaken for calm instead of panic. For 30 minutes, he breathed manually on the ice, locked in a tug-of-war with death’s indifference. Each breath cost more than the last: “I died after about 30 minutes of manual breathing on the ice—an effort like doing 10 or 20 push-ups every minute for half an hour.” Without hesitation or hyperbole, he confirms he died. Not metaphorically. Not in a spiritual pat-a-cake way. But in a literal, physical, unyielding sense. His words feel etched in scar tissue—neither theatrical nor decorative.

Commonalities Among Near-Death Experiences (NDEs):

1. Out-of-Body Experience: Many report feeling detached from their physical body, often observing themselves or their surroundings from an external perspective.

2. Tunnel of Light: A frequent description involves moving through a tunnel toward a bright light, often associated with peace or warmth.

3. Sense of Peace and Love: NDErs commonly describe overwhelming feelings of calm, unconditional love, or euphoria.

4. Life Review: Some experience a rapid, vivid replay of life events, often with heightened emotional clarity or judgment.

5. Encounters with Entities: Many report meeting deceased loved ones, spiritual beings, or a divine presence, often guiding or comforting them.

6. Altered Perception of Time: Time may feel distorted, with events seeming to occur instantaneously or infinitely.

7. Boundary or Point of No Return: Some describe reaching a barrier (e.g., a river or gate) where they choose or are told to return to life.

8. Profound Aftereffects: Post-NDE, individuals often report reduced fear of death, increased spirituality, and a shift toward altruistic behavior.

Scientific Explanations:

1. Neurological Mechanisms:

   • Hypoxia/Anoxia: Oxygen deprivation in the brain can trigger hallucinations, tunnel vision, and euphoria due to altered activity in the visual cortex and limbic system.

   • Temporal Lobe Activity: Seizure-like activity in the temporal lobe, linked to memory and emotion, may produce vivid imagery, life reviews, or spiritual sensations.

   • Endorphin Release: The brain’s release of endorphins under stress can induce feelings of peace and euphoria.

2. Neurochemical Factors:

   • Ketamine-like Compounds: Some researchers suggest the brain may produce NMDA receptor antagonists (similar to ketamine), causing dissociation, out-of-body sensations, and altered reality perception.

   • Serotonin/Dopamine Surges: Dysregulation of these neurotransmitters during trauma may contribute to intense emotional experiences.

3. Psychological Responses:

   • Coping Mechanism: NDEs may be the brain’s attempt to process trauma, creating comforting narratives to mitigate fear of death.

   • Cultural Influence: The content of NDEs (e.g., religious figures) often aligns with an individual’s cultural or personal beliefs, suggesting a role for expectation and memory.

4. Cardiac Arrest Studies:

   • Research, like the AWARE studies, shows that some NDE features (e.g., awareness during resuscitation) may occur when the brain is still minimally active, challenging the idea that NDEs happen during complete brain shutdown.

   • However, no definitive evidence confirms consciousness persists without measurable brain activity.

5. Limitations of Current Science:

   • While neurological and psychological models explain many NDE features, they don’t fully account for veridical perceptions (e.g., accurate details reported during clinical death) or the transformative impact of NDEs.

   • Some argue NDEs suggest consciousness may exist independently of the brain, but this remains speculative and unproven.

Summary: NDEs share consistent themes across cultures, including out-of-body sensations, tunnels of light, and profound peace, often leading to lasting personal transformation. Scientifically, these are largely attributed to brain processes under stress—hypoxia, neurochemical surges, and psychological coping mechanisms—though some aspects, like veridical perceptions, remain unexplained. The debate persists between materialist explanations and theories of non-physical consciousness.